Angry veteran uses N-word for phlebotamist; racism rampant in AA clubs across country
After subjecting Blacks to slavery for 256 plus years and then segregation for more than 150 years, plus lynching that continues to this day, some Whites insult Blacks and call it freedom of speech.
The gay Triangle Club in Washington DC subjected me to blatant racism last year. I can no longer keep quiet as racism is pervasive in AA.
You can never find spirituality in the gutter of racism.
Just before the start of a morning meeting of the Alcoholics Anonymous at the Serenity Club in Alexandria Thursday, one retired army veteran was loudly using the most despicable N-word while chatting with another veteran. The reason why the white, retired army officer of German descent was angry was that his right forearm was bruised by a black phlebotomist when his blood was being drawn for some tests.
I was in utter disbelief I heard him say that word. It was as if I was watching a Ku Klux Klan movie. In almost 23 years of life in America I had only heard this word twice in real time, the first time in the small town of Piqua, Ohio in 2001. There, a young man pissed at his sister’s choice of boyfriend called her “nigger loving.” In the bars there— those were my drinking days—, I could see the rage in the eyes of white men when a white woman would show up with a black man every now and then.
UPDATES: Though the Serenity Club leadership denies it, white supremacist thinking— that violated the A.A. teaching of love — has existed there for decades. A black old timer, with nearly 35 years of sobriety, revealed Wednesday they sensed they were not welcome there when they were invited by a gentleman named Marvin Redmond, now deceased, who used to chair a meeting. Redmond, a Caucasian, was from Prince George’s County in Maryland and like this writer believed in racial amity. Redmond had invited the old timer twice to lead a meeting. The old timer said humans can feel when they are not welcome.
A highly lettered member counseled this writer about the 10th tradition. It states, “Alcoholics Anonymous (and Al-Anon) has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.” But that is true only when racism was taking place outside the room, not inside an A.A. room. Unfortunately, majority of Caucasians look the other way when it comes to racial injustice.
It is well known that bruising, called hematoma, is quite common during blood draws. However, the veteran went on to say as if the black phlebotomist had intentionally inflicted harm on him. He said that his ancestors had come from Germany to Pennsylvania and had nothing to do with the practice of slavery in the U.S., implying there was no justification for the black person to harm him. “They hate us,” he complained.
The term nigger is extremely demeaning. Randall Kennedy in his national best seller, Nigger: The Strange Career of a Troublesome Word, quotes Hosea Easton from “A Treatise on the Intellectual Character and Civil and Political Condition of the Colored People of the United States: and the Prejudice Exercised Towards Them (1837). Easton says that nigger "is an opprobrious term, employed to impose contempt upon [blacks] as an inferior race. . . . The term in itself would be perfectly harmless were it used only to distinguish one class of society from another; but it is not used with that intent. . . . [I]t flows from the fountain of purpose to injure." Easton averred that often the earliest instruction white adults gave to white children prominently featured the word nigger. Adults reprimanded them for being "worse than niggers," for being "ignorant as niggers," for having "no more credit than niggers"; they disciplined them by telling them that unless they behaved they would be carried off by "the old nigger" or made to sit with "niggers" or consigned to the "nigger seat," which was, of course, a place of shame.
The same veteran, who religiously bakes goods for the morning meeting, had once told me he did not like black folks who lead (open up a meeting by being the first speaker) the AA meetings. In all honesty, I was stunned but I let it go as I told myself he was just being funny or something.
“When the Fellowship was founded — and for three decades thereafter — de facto discrimination against Blacks was accepted in many places,” James C. writes in blog related to black recovery called Michael Herbert: The Recovery Guide.
There were other instances before that. Imagine an eighty year something stealing the Black Lives Matter sign just before the start of an AA meeting at the Mount Vernon Unitarian Church (MVUC). The AA meeting itself is held every Tuesday night at the Hollin Hall, which is MVUC property. The guy who did this last fall is said to be originally from Australia. A diehard right-winger and staunch supporter of a former president, he believes in all kinds of conspiracy theories. I was shocked and scared even then because if years of sobriety, twinned with teachings of humility and honesty, cannot change the behavior of a racist, what else will?
RACISM at the Serenity Club was very personal to me because I had migrated here after facing racism at another club.
The Ivy League school-educated president of the Triangle Club— the gay recovery center in Washington DC— last June threatened me with “a ban on your access to the Club. This ban would include all Club meetings (virtual or in-person), clubhouse events, socializing at the building, and offsite fellowship events associated with the Club (e.g., the Gala)…” The Triangle Club was sacred for me as a gay man because my drinking in Pakistan was directly connected to my sexual orientation. Even though a saying in Urdu language goes a stone looks good where it belongs, one of the main reasons I came to America was to live my life openly and honestly as a gay man. So after landing in America and kissing the U.S. soil outside the JFK Airport, I came out with a vengeance to become the world’s first openly gay Baloch among more than 30 million mostly tribal Baloch people in Balochistan and the Diaspora.
I was shocked by the threat of getting banned from the president of the Triangle Club. As much as I know, other than being outspoken, or maybe funny, I did not do or say anything that would warrant this threat.
The history of racism and colonialism is replete with whites willfully denigrating people of color— on June 7, 1893, Mahatama Gandhi or "Great Soul Gandhi" was forcibly removed from a whites-only carriage on a train in South Africa, an insult that changed the future course of India. There is an even more uglier example in American history. According to the History Channel, “After a shackled journey across the Atlantic, Abdulrahman Ibrahim Ibn Sori was desperate to make the man about to purchase him, Thomas Foster, understand his terrible mistake: he wasn’t supposed to be enslaved, the 26-year-old was the heir to one of Africa’s most influential kingdoms. Instead of freedom, his protestations earned him the derisive nickname “Prince,” which he’d carry for his next 40 years (1788-1829) of enslavement.” When the racists of America did not spare Ibn Sori, a member of the West African royalty, and turned him into a slave on a Mississippi plantation why should I expect a better treatment from the racist leadership of the Triangle Club.
My cardinal sin is I am brown and the uppity white guys at the Triangle Club cared two hoots if folks in India, Pakistan and Afghanistan look upon me as an influencer and some even call me a “sage.”
I was consoled by a black intellectual woman, from an old family in Washington DC, who said that at yet another Washington DC club a man had accused her of stealing from the basket of donations that is passed to honor the Seventh Tradition during AA meetings. In fact my black friend was somewhat upset that I had asked her to come meet me in Alexandria, because of its infamy as a slave trading bazaar.
SOME people say when the AA meetings shifted to Zoom with the start of Covid, racist comments became even more blatant. “Like more than 2 million people across the world, I seek refuge daily in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. But my exposure to blatant racism on Zoom makes me question my place in Alcoholics Anonymous as a Black woman,” writes Los Angeles journalist Maya Richard-Craven.
Racism and classism is rampant in the AA throughout the continental United States, it seems.
In April, I was in Memphis to pay my tributes to the best American ever, Dr Martin Luther King Jr. As soon as the event ended at the National Civil Rights Museum, formerly Lorraine Motel, I went to a meeting which turned out to be quite good. I made at least two good friends there immediately. On the second day, April 5, I wanted to go to a second meeting close to where I was staying at a downtown hotel. I actually walked to a meeting about eight blocks away that was supposed to start at 10 am but a woman who lived at the address told me the last meeting was held there five years ago.
George W. McLaurin segregated from class in anteroom, University of Oklahoma, 1948. Courtesy U.S. Library of Congress.
I called the AA area office in Memphis, called the Area 64 Assembly of Alcoholics Anonymous, to inform them about the meeting not being in place and to request them to update their records. I called a second time, a couple of minutes later, at 11.32 am, to ask about a second meeting in downtown called the Downtown Nooners Group which is held at noon time on weekdays at the Calvary Episcopal Church. But the woman in Memphis area AA office discouraged me from going there as she cautioned me the meeting was attended mostly by “homeless people.” As I work in the recovery field, I made it a point to attend the Downtown Nooners Group. I found the attendees to be very decent black folks. If someone is homeless it is no crime. Anyone can become homeless in America any moment. Unfortunately, blacks are worst off. According to myneighbor.org web site, “…black or African Americans make up 13% of the general population but 40% of the homeless population.”
I am justified to suspect the woman in the AA office who was telling me not to go to a black meeting was a southern racist. I had lived and worked as a newsman in the south before and can recognize southern racism from miles away.
The suggestion I should not go to a black AA meeting was a clear proof of segregation in the fellowship. Segregation also had an uglier twin sister: lynching. According to the city of Alexandria, in Northern Virginia, where the Serenity Club is located 11 blacks were lynched between 1882 and 1899. In fact one of the victims Joseph McCoy was lynched in Old Town Alexandria, just 7.1 miles away from the Serenity Club, 126 years ago.
But that was not the last case. Twenty eight months later August 8, 1899 a 16-year-old black boy Benjamin Thomas was lynched even closer— 6.8 miles from the Serenity Club, at the corner of South Fairfax and King Streets in Old Town Alexandria.
Since years translate into hours and remain etched in the collective memory of an oppressed people, I won’t be surprised if the blacks feel as if these lynchings happened just 124 or 126 hours earlier, or five days ago. Between 1882 and 1968 as many as 4,743 lynching cases— one case every six days—, were reported nationwide, according to the City of Alexandria. The National Association for Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) warns not to think that lynching is a thing of the past. The advocacy association believes the killing of George Floyd in broad daylight in Minneapolis, Minnesota, was an example of modern day lynching.
The use of the word nigger at the Serenity Club can cause excruciating emotional pain and has the potential to refresh the deeply buried racial wounds of black folks.
Just six miles from the club, there was once the Franklin and Armfield Slave Pen at 1315 Duke Street, which according to the local Alexandria government, was one of the largest slave trading companies in the country. The site is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.
“The three-story brick building with mansard roof was built as the residence of Robert Young, Brigadier General of the second Militia of the District of Columbia. By 1828, it was leased by Isaac Franklin and John Armfield and used as a "Negro Jail" or slave pen for slaves being shipped from Northern Virginia to Louisiana. Franklin and Armfield were active until 1836, exporting over 3,750 slaves to cotton and sugar plantations in the Deep South. Later, other firms continued trading in slaves here. A sign seen in Civil War period photographs has the name of Price, Birch & Co.,” according to the government of Alexandria web site.
A most troublesome aspect is racism is not only limited to AA rooms in the Deep South and the snooty Washington DC area but is just as much pervasive in the liberal enclaves of the West Coast.
A black AA member, who lived in the San Francisco area and then moved to the DC area, said he had discussions with others about racism in AA on multiple occasions.
He adds because of the racism many blacks avoid AA rooms. “I've noticed that African Americans tend to go to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) whether they've done drugs or not,” he explains.
Returning to the Serenity Club, I have called for classes to end racism and xenophobia. Maybe many AA members here are suffering from melanophobia, or fear of anything that is black in color, and need treatment. But a retired marine opposed my request. “…. This is America there is freedom of speech here. People can say what they want…. I am going to say this and it probably won't feel like a hugg, but... Suck it up buttercup.”
However, a former U.S. navy guy, whose father was once quite high in the Pentagon, had a different take. He said on the condition of anonymity, “I’m praying our country moves past this - and our 1830 Trail of Tears and our Trail of one million slaves from tidewater Maryland and Virginia to the king cotton & sugar plantations around 1850 (in flat boats down the Mississippi RV). 30-40 were welded together via neck collars. These Truths is an accurate 400 year history.”
Racist comments at Serenity Club is not directed only against blacks but also against immigrants.
A Hispanic woman, who few months back led a meeting, that I used to chair, said after the meeting a white woman came up to her and said, “Oh, that’s how you got paper?” She had shared during her lede that her dad was in the Air Force. “She didn’t ask that with good intentions,” she said, adding that was why she believes there is racism at the Serenity Club.
A clear proof of racism against Hispanics is there is no Spanish speaking meeting at the Serenity Club. According to official statistics, the largest racial/ethnic groups in zip code 22309, where the Serenity Club is housed, are Hispanic (32.8%) followed by White (29.0%) and Black (26.9%). This, despite the fact that it is well known that alcoholism or Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) is a huge challenge among Hispanics. Launch of a Spanish speaking meeting is long overdue.
Unfortunately, they even censored my two para post on the racist comment on their Facebook page so other members won’t be able to read it. A former president clarified that the page is not directly affiliated with the club, though all posts on it pertain to the club.
The common refrain in AA rooms is some are sicker than others. It is true that many people in the AA have what is called dual diagnoses, that is alcoholism along with anxiety, depression, PTSD and trauma of different kinds, which at times may include sexual trauma inflicted by a parent.
The countless sicknesses that alcoholics have include from Small Penis Syndrome to iatrophobia, or fear of doctors, and everything in between. But this does not give anyone the license to use racist, homophobic, antisemitic and misogynist slurs during what is called meeting before the meeting or for that matter anytime on the premises of a club or church where an AA meeting is held.
Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life but the racism in the fellowship is killing me now. My last drink was March 2, 2007 and as referenced earlier some people back home call me a sage— largely due to AA fellowship stress on honesty, humility and doing the next right thing. In a way AA is my family and it is tough to wash your family’s dirty linen in public. But if your family linen becomes stained with racism, it needs to be washed in public!
If after treating blacks as animals for more than 256 years, subjecting them to the inhumanity of segregation for one and half century plus public lynchings, some Caucasians still feel the need to insult blacks, I don’t belong to the same room with them. I resigned from the club and all my service positions Thursday to protest against the use of the racist slur.
Last week, the Serenity Club President Sharon G. sent an email that reads, “We thoroughly discussed this issue at last evening's (Sunday May 14, 2023) Board meeting. Measures are being taken to remind all who enter the Club that intolerant language, of any kind, is unacceptable. The Club is not racist and does not condone a racist environment. Many people of color have found sobriety at the Serenity Club. I certainly hope your blogs do not dissuade any who desperately needs our help.”
However, the veteran who used the word nigger has not been reprimanded despite my repeated requests to do so.
UPDATES: The club initially returned remainder of my dues without my formal letter of resignation. Following that, I sent the full annual membership fees again but that was returned to me and I was told the board would decide my membership. I was informed that the board meeting on 6/11/2023 unanimously rejected my membership. This is illegal and I intend to fight back in each and every court in the United States as the era of Jim Crow must be buried, even in the former slave bazaar of Alexandria.
The writer at the National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN, 4/4/2023.
(Freelance writer Ahmar Mustikhan can be reached at ahmar_scribe@yahoo.com)
Thanks for writing on this, Ahmar. -
This was painful but helpful and educational to read Jeff F
How would that veteran, or for that matter anyone else with his views, receive racist words or racist comments if the races were reversed?